I May Have Found Tenchu-or At Least His Long Lost Cousin


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S
There's an ape that posts on the open kickboxing forum over at Sherdog, his writing style in reference to self in the third is very reminiscent of MTL's village idiot

Have a looky looky here forums.sherdog.com/forums/f42/... ...-3049421/index6.html

Rambutan
It can be hime because:
-his profile on the other forum dates from Aug, Tenchu stopped being very active here around that exact date
- He insutled somebody for being a member with less posts then him, that is exactly what he did here, he believed he was king because the number of post he had and if you had less posts then him you should shut up

S
he's fooling cunts too the fucker

Hawkman
he was on there as Tenchu before and also Stonebear?

i hope Tenchu is ok, I miss him ,we used to have wars on here, I think he has a brain and a heart just difficulty expressing himself.
my first post on here he said was the most idiotic thing he had ever read. which I took as a compliment.

Vlad
Tenchu wherever you Are come back to MTL !!!!

Rambutan
Yeah I really miss him also, he made MTL much more fun.
Now we only have 1 troll left, Sam, and he is boring as hell

Tenchu
I can't believe I come back here and the top thread is about me. I must've made an impression. I confess, I'm awesome, I'm #1, and wherever I go I am in the spotlight. Girls love having sex with me too, by the way. Hey I'm real slim now, in case that last line didn't make much sense.

Anyway that other guy isn't me. I don't do martial art forums anymore. I haven't for years.

Can I ask, when you pull your cock, do I also come to mind frequently then? I believe I do. I'm like that.

Love you all.
XXX

Tenchu
I can't be fucked making another thread. Since this one is about me, I shall exercise my trolling rights to hijack it. Here's an about me update, for the fans: Yeah I slimmed down. Must be 80 now. I just resolved to get down to 75 this morning, which might be why I thought to come here. I want a v-shaped torso, so I need to lose the last bit of fat.

I want a super sexy body because my wife just consented to polygyny, and we're moving to Bangkok soon, and I'm gonna find some teenage virgin to fuck the brains out of for the rest of my life (because my wife is older than me, too old, and it's no fun, and she knows it, but rather than having me leave, she gets the picture it's better to keep me around and let me have other wives). Fuck it's cool. You guys need to introduce your wives to the concept of polygyny as well. Anybody study sociobiology? Evolotionary science proves polygyny is natural, and both men and women are psychological adapted for it. It's only unpopular nowadays because of radical political ideology, but you'll find women can be slipped into polygyny as easily as a penis slips into their vagina, because that's what they're evolved for.

I dunno what else to say. All I think about anymore is fucking. I think fucking girls is the meaning of life. Actually, I know it is.

Anyway, if any fans have questions, ask, and I shall be back in a week or so.

S
bahahaha.......

S
you bin training tench?

Tenchu
Not much. I lose weight via diet. It's frankly fucking way easier. But yeah, I'm planning on training a bit more to get ready for sexual predation in Bangkok. I'm turning 30 soon. Still young, so if I can make my body hot, then I'll do alright. My face is average by Western standards, but having white skin in Thailand is major boost. Also gonna get symmetrical tattoos on my arms. Like, Celtic armbands or something, matching on either arm. You know, girls think symmetry is hot (unconsciously, of course, they aren't actually aware of it, it is just a psychological thing). Doing things to enhance your symmetry (such as better muscle definition, and symmetrical tattoos, or dressing symmetrical, symmetrical hair styles) all makes you hotter. Another fact, muscle size is less relevant than muscle definition, which is convenient, so I'm focusing on definition right now instead of bulk.

XXX

S
bro fuck symmetry, I part my hair to the side, them bitches love it

djdaze
Welcome back. Funny, you were on a mission to get super heavyweight years ago. Didn't you want to get up to 115kgs or so me shit? Anyways it's weird to hear you talking about slimming to 75kg....damn near my weight. Good luck with them girls.

Don't wear those old workout shorts of yours, those are like chick repellant.

Rambutan
What will you do in BBK? Did you give up the rubberfarming? I often wonder how that was doing...

We both have the same mission, slimming down and getting the V-shape.
And you are right definition is way more improtant then size!

Blake
Pics or it didnt happen

Rambutan
haha I was thinking the same when i've read about his weightloss. We want pics!

Hawkman
"What will you do in BBK?"

my guess is Front Squats and bullshitting , mainly :-)

welcome back Tench!

Hawkman
Tenchu is on here more often than Dave...

Vlad
Monogyny is a concept made up by the church. One wife one church. dedication, fidelity, sacrifice to "her"

Thank you Hawkman for sharing manipulated man :)

This is why priests wear female dresses, jewlery and shit

Fuck Vlad is about to book the next flight to BKK !!! Need to safe the poor hookers from french wellfare cheats, disgusting Old guys and russians (they noo gooooood, oway won fuck aaaaas)

Tenchu
Not all Christians are against monogamy. Mormons, for example. The strongest opposition to it nowadays comes from feminists, fuck they're dumb. Apparently it's okay to go out and fuck a different person ever day, but having 2 wives you love and care about and are fidel to is wrong? It's not hard to see how fucking stupid feminism is.

Tenchu
Why don't you guys come see me in Bangkok and take the pics yourselves? Seriously. I'll be there in several months.

As for what I'm doing now, I'm a writer. I write fantasy novels, and am trying to sell them. I'll be alright.

Tenchu
I meant to say "against polygyny" above, obviously.

Rambutan
Will you be in BKK around november Tenchu?

Blake
Best of luck

Hawkman
"I'm turning 30 soon" - God I wish I could say that!

S
Where you gonna be tench?

kimbo
Oi kent I'll be at Rob's gym in October. Come have beers!

Tenchu
Who's Kent?

I'll be in Bangkok sometime early or mid next year, not sooner. I'll probably be in Ratchadapisek area, but I'm not totally sure. It connects to the train system there, so I can meet up with anybody else who can use the trains. I'll meet you all, I've got no problems with it, and nothing to hide. I honestly think you guys are in for a bit of a shock when you meet me. You're expecting a total idiot. It's gonna be funny watching your souls shrink in my presence. I honestly think you'll be afraid of me. Not because I'll bully you, but people tend to feel the same about me as they do Hannibal Lecter.

Do you guys wanna read some of my fantasy writing? Here's the introduction to the current novel I'm writing. Tell me what you think:

www.filedropper.com/daughterofhell

S
hehe, you'll shrink in my presence....fuck a duck

Blake
Id rather read the tale of Scroty McBoogerballs

MC2
Tenchu, you got Instagram? I'll totes follow you brah! :D

Croatoan
"The air was made of snow, and ice, and a wild gale
frantically trying to tear her cloak away. It was a blizzardine winter the likes of which hadn’t been seen since
the year she was born, then not for generations again before that, everybody said so, but Vanilla stood there in
thin cyan velvets, with bare hands, and an uncovered face, yet she felt it not."

“That’s my girl.” Freyja had no notion how her daughter knew the things she knew, it went beyond
being above her years, but she certainly knew more of her world than she had ever been taught. “Learn how to
keep secrets, Van. Ye’ll understand why when ye’re older. Now run along and play with yer bunny.”

"She looked back at the snow-filled doorway, realizing she had no way of knowing when the solstice
arrived from in here. It made Vanilla sad. She didn’t fully know how to do this alone. Her mother had taken
her to this shrine and the Temple of Saga in the city below many times before, but only to give coin to the
monks, and mumble over words written in old tomes. They had never actually preyed before, in the way she
knew preyers were meant to be ushered."

It's difficult to know where to begin. I hate being negative about anyone's work but seriously your writing's pretty dreadful and needs a lot of work. It's really important anyone who writes is able to look at their own work and judge it objectively. That you're willing to let others read it as it is suggests you can't, at this point anyway. If you read this and genuinely think to yourself "that's pretty good" then you're going to struggle.
An editor might be able to tidy up the spelling mistakes, grammar and punctuation (I'm suffering from comma fatigue - you could lose 80% of them easily). But as I'd hope it's a first draft you should do some of it yourself during revisions. And cut out the cliches and pseudo-medieval language "yet she felt it not"; "ye, ye're"; "tomes"; "draught". You're writing in the third person. While you can if you want have your characters speak in gobbledygook, you can't as a narrator go from modern language to a made up language you think sounds archaic. Be careful with names. If you're looking Scandinavian/Icelandic then where does Vanilla come from? In fact it doesn't matter. It's jarring and sounds out of place. Saga makes me think you've just watched "The Bridge". Avoid as others will think that too even if you haven't. As a writer you will know all about "show don't tell". Yet you're telling throughout.

"She saw the solstice arrive far on the southern horizon, as the sun toyed with the prospect of rising, but it wouldn’t rise today."
If the sun doesn't rise there is no solstice, so how could it arrive? If you just happen to be on another planet and somehow there are more than two solstices a year, then call it something else.

"Freyja began to dig a tunnel. Even through her thick wolf-fur gloves, the frost was biting worse than the wolf ever could’ve. " This is terrible writing.

Figures of speech need to work: "Like countless invisible birds of prey with talons made of razor-blades" A talon is already razor sharp. Why on earth would it need to be made of razor blades? And why invisible?

This isn't meant as a hatchet job even if it sounds like it. A writer has to have thick skin so don't let me or anyone else put you off. It needs a lot of work and your writing needs to improve exponentially if want to get published (rather than self-published). I'd suggest you spend your spare time reading the work of great writers so as to give yourself a better grounding in the craft of writing.

Hawkman
the trick is to read more than you write

i cannot write fiction

ever since I took lsd in 1992 my imgaination is shot.
i like factuals and autobiographies and stuff.
i think people who read Harry Potter, esp 30 something s(tube in London used to be full of these kents)are bellends
i coudl write erotic fiction I'm sure?

" Bobbers' dung hampers were as as soggy as a fly fisherman's sock, as she gazed longingly upon the veiny girth of Rob's turgid man-meat, stiffening under his britches, like a baby giraffe with early onset rigor mortis.
She coudl feel her pink lady cleft twitching rapidly in antipcation. like a tazered epileptic, as she pondered on the idea of this being the first non-african cock she would have savoured since being expelled from Special school"

Rambutan
Lol@ your writing Hawkman

MC2
"" Evolotionary science proves polygyny is natural, and both men and women are psychological adapted for it. It's only unpopular nowadays because of radical political ideology,""

I only agree that a male can have multiple partners... What Caveman would want some other Caveman sticking his dick in his Cavewomans pregnant twat? And what 2 Cavemen would want to take care of 1 Cavewoman who gave birth to both of their babies not far apart?

Say the Cavewoman is an asset like a business, how can each male possibly own 50/50 if they don't provide (hunt and gather) an equal amount of shit for the Cavewoman and the 2 babies of different fathers?

Mormonism and Islam, and whatever other religions say you can have heaps of wives are right. That part of those religions is based on social science.

Croatoan
"Mormonism and Islam, and whatever other religions say you can have heaps of wives are right. That part of those religions is based on social science."

They would be right if their thinking was based on evolutionary theory rather than fairy tales.

muaythaifocus
hahaah Hackman needs to write a novel!

Blake
Where can I buy this book hawkman

Hawkman
haha build it and he will come....

djdaze
write it and they will cum...

Vlad
LMAO

sanchoy

Tenchu
MC2, Sam,

You need to look at the definition of "polygyny." You are confusing it with "polygamy." The word polygyny refers to a male having multiple wives, nothing else. Polyandry, where the women has multiple partners, is unnatural. The reasons are fairly straight forward. Simply, only men who desire to invest in their own offspring (to ensure their survival and contribution to future generations) were able to reproduce en masse, so we bred the dumb polyandry fucks out back before we were even monkeys. Women on the other hand require a mate who can invest resources in them during and after child birth in order to ensure their offspring's survival. Multiple wives doesn't affect a women's chances of reproduction, so long as there is enough resources for every wife, so natural selection favors polygyny. Reasons like this.

I know you're young, but you're old enough to use a dictionary.

Tenchu
Croation,

Thanks for reading it. I wish somebody else would. Here's some explanations.

The use of commas is often poetical, to provide breaks in the reading that allow it to roll better. I'm not a fan of rhymes, I think they're cheap. Consider this as poetry:

"He was huge, and white, and shaggy, with fangs made of ice. He was shaped like an arctic bear. He was shaped like a man from Hell."

Now compare it with proper English:

"He was huge, white, and shaggy with fangs made of ice."

The flow is shit. I add a lot of commas and "ands" where I don't have to, because of how it forces the reader to pronounce it. Other writers aren't smart enough to force pronunciation, so they use rhymes. Even though this isn't a poem, I'm writing it like one. That's why the commans.

There aren't any spelling mistakes. You might need a dictionary too. I think the only mistake in it is mead turned into ale at one point. I changed that already.

The "gobblydyfuckingwhatever" such as ye and yer were to describe a highlander's accent. Since people don't notice the accent of somebody they've lived with, it wouldn't work to say, "Mama was speaking in her thick northern accent." Have to rely on what she actually says. Freyja is the only one who speaks like that. At other times, people use words like "Gonna" and "Wanna" to reflect their slack speech. If I'm going to write "gonna" instead of "going to" because that's how their pronunciation sounds, then why not use "yer" if that's what she's actually saying? She speaks like a fucking Scot, damn it, how else do you write that?

Tenchu
" you can't as a narrator go from modern language to a made up language you think sounds archaic"

I don't know what you mean. English is English. I pull this shit out of the dictionary. I use some words that haven't been used for hundreds of years. Such as "may," which is the origin of the word "maiden," a virgin. It works better with "Shieldmay" than "Shieldmaiden," which is too fucking long. Literary agents prefer the dialogue to match the narration anyway. This is first person, you do realize that, don't you?

If you say "He took a gulp of wine," instead of draught, it sounds like a 5 year old wrote it, frankly. Draught is not an archaic word anyway.

"Saga" is the name of a Viking goddess. She was one of Odin's hos. Goddess of history, perhaps another name for "Frigg." Since history is so violent, I am using the actual real Viking goddess of history as my Goddess of Violence. It makes sense.

"Vanilla" will make sense later on. First, did you catach the color of her hair? White. But the main point is, when she gets older, her period doesn't come. She is niether male nor female. She's a giantess, which is like a vampire here, and she reproduces through her bite. Vanilla means plain, without special features, i.e. without sexuality. Perhaps it's unrealistic to have her named that in that world, but it's fantasy, and Vanilla is a good name once you get to know her.

Most people who read the book, if it ever gets published, will be vaguely aware of the plot. If you read the blurb, for example, you would get Vanilla.

You don't know what a solstice is. Midsummer, and midwinter. Do you think there is no solstice in the arctic? Dude, you cannot critique shit you don't even know what it is!

Talons aren't sharp.

"As a writer you will know all about "show don't tell". Yet you're telling throughout. "

Explain this. Because it makes no sense. Basically NOTHING is told in this. I don't tell you how old Vanilla is, despite it's her birthday. But you figured it out, right? She's about 6 - 9. I used a reflection on the appearance of a dolly to describe what Freyja looked like (because she isn't going to describe her own looks to herself). I didn't tell you Van is a princess, or Harald is the high king, or that they're even royals, but you knew it all, right? I used the color of the rabbit's fur to describe Vanilla's hair color.

Basically absolutely NOTHING is mentioned in this tale until it becomes directly relevant. Nothing. Have you read A Song of Ice and Fire or something? That book has entire chapters dedicated to telling shit. I fucking hate it. I tell nothing, and show everything.

Thanks for reading it, anyway. I need more people to read it. It's only when the same things are mentioned by different people can I believe they're true.

Can I ask, do you think it was violent at all?

MC2
Yeh, 100% agree with the multiple wives thing, Tenchu... I don't really know so much about all those "poly" terms with regards to sex and relationships, I just know what polygamy.

Croatoan
There's no life, no flow. Don't tell me so and so is sad, show me by her actions, her thoughts. If you've done this then to tell me she's sad is tautologous.
Pulling shit from a dictionary doesn't make it any better. People want to read a story not research dead languages. Shieldmay is obvious and looks like you're trying too hard, unto is cod-archaic. It's clear you're not writing as an intellectual or philologist, just picking words at random because you feel it looks good.
You don't know the difference between first and third person. This is written in the third person.
Preyer?? Yet you use prayer, correctly, as well to mean the same thing.
"and the smell was irritable" A smell can't be irritable. It can be irritating but not irritable. You're saying the smell is annoyed at something. This is basic English.
The sun has to rise to have a solstice. In the Arctic it gets past the horizon so there is some daylight. "She saw the solstice arrive far on the southern horizon, as the sun toyed with the prospect of rising, but it wouldn’t rise today." How did she see it arrive?
The commas don't work however much you try to tell us they do. It looks like someone who doesn't know how to punctuate and makes it read terribly. And its not poetical.
The talons of a bird of prey are sharp.
She doesn't speak like a Scot at all. Gonna, ye, yer could be Cockney or Mancunian or indeed any English dialect. "Gonny" is far more Scottish for going to than Gonna. "Mither" more Scottish than mama. Ferther for father, hid for heard and so on. It sounds ridiculous to change one or two words to something you feel sounds Scottish, but doesn't, but leave all the rest as English pronunciation. Unless you have an ear for language and some understanding of pronunciation you'll struggle. Unless you intend to write all language as dialect, I'd steer clear.
Vanilla in modern parlance might, to geeks, mean plain, but this is very recent. It wouldn't mean plain in the context of this story. It makes no more sense than referencing Facebook.
Anyhow, I'm not here to argue with you about it. I'm sure you'll ignore everything I've said anyway so likely won't comment further.
I personally think it's poorly written and unless improved greatly will never find a publisher. Others may disagree. I genuinely wish you luck though and get that further drafts may improve it greatly.
I've never read Game of Thrones and no, it's not particularly violent.

Hawkman
She's a giantess, which is like a vampire here.

ok . I'm glad we got that straight.

Tenchu dont be put off- youd be surprised how many studios rejected Star Wars scripts

Hawkman
i have for now re written your work

"The air was made of jizz, and ice, and a dirty old fuck
frantically trying to tear her cloak away. It was a blizzardine winter the likes of which hadn’t been seen since
the year she was born, then not for generations again before that, everybody said so, but Vanilla stood there in hr crotchless panties, with bare hands, and an jizz-covered face, yet she felt it not."

“That’s my bitch.” Freyja had no notion how her daughter knew these words, and also the word "cuntmaster", it went beyond
being above her years, but she certainly knew more of her world than she had ever been taught. “Learn how to
roll a joint, Van. Ye’ll understand why when ye’re older. Now run along and play with that crackpipe.”

"She looked back at the badly-fitted doorway, realizing she had no way of knowing when the Romanian immigrants
arrived from in here. It made Vanilla sad. She didn’t fully know how to do this alone. Her mother had taken
her to this shrine and the Temple of Saga in the city below many times before, but only to whack off the
monks, and do some mushrooms. They had never actually done a 3 way reacharound before in the way she
knew tromboning was supposed to be donw."

muaythaifocus
lol

Blake
Hawkmans book is better

Tenchu
I'm not put off, Hawkman. I've posted my work on another forum, and gotten positive responses. Croatian is just an idiot. He didn't know "Saga" was a Viking name. He doesn't realize the solstice occurs even in the arctic. He accuses me of using psuedo-archaic speech when the truth is I just have a larger vocabulary than him (I use words like "bimbo" for example too, which are intensely modern, but I don't give a fuck). He doesn't realize that this is first person simply written in a past tense. He reminds me of a feminist who tried to call me stupid by pointing out that "illiberal" was not a word. Fuck feminists are dumb.

Sorry Croatian. I'm glad you tried to help, but you need to THINK about things before you say them, and make sure you're right. Thanks for trying, anyway.

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